I know I didn't post anything yesterday. I've been having a hard time emotionally with this miscarriage at unexpected moments, but that's not why I didn't write. We met with our counselor yesterday, and after, I decided to create a "memorial site". I think it will be a good idea to have our complete back story in one place where it can be easily found. I spent most of the day working on this.
I've only put down our birth stories so far, but this was the hardest and longest part. It took me several hours just to find the right website templates and get everything setup for publishing, but I'm surprised how quickly the words flowed out once I started writing. I've never been afraid like I know some women are about loosing the details of my story. I figured that if I haven't forgot by now then I probably won't forget (barring some ugly degenerative brain disease or trama), but it's nice to have all those details out on "paper". What also surprised me was I remembered easily the days of the week from each birth and death.
I'll be working on this more today. I feel the need to focus inward and embrace the sadness with some directed efforts. Sometimes time doesn't heal all wounds and you have to "grin" and bear it and go through it to get past it. The gratitude journal offers a nice distraction from the pain, but distraction isn't always the answer. I do enjoy the gratitude journal though and will resume this shortly. Stay tuned!
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