The bleeding seems to have subsided. The nurse said that she doubted the progesterone would help with that. Maybe we were able to catch it in time to save the pregnancy though. We will see on the 18th if there's actually a baby in there.

I am already preparing myself for being disappointed. I am still holding out hope, but I wish I wouldn't so it wouldn't hurt so bad.

I keep going around in my head that I'm not having cramps, and I haven't passed tissue, and the bleeding is subsiding, and I'm not doing this and I'm not doing that. But I don't want to convince myself it'll be okay. I'd rather be pleasantly surprised if we do find a heartbeat rather than sadly disappointed if we don't. But I still know I will be disappointed. But I tell myself, "that's okay, we can try again". It's enough to drive you crazy though.

I'm also trying to rest during the day. I will let my sub watch the daycare, and I'll try to take a nap. I lay in bed, and I think I feel the blood or a cramp coming on. I want to rush to the bathroom to check, but I can't do that every 5 minutes! So I make myself ignore it and reassure myself that I'm already doing everything I can to protect the pregnancy and decide to let nature take it's course either way. If I'm bleeding, I will deal with it after my nap.

Having to ask the people around me for help with the things I'm used to doing is very difficult as well! But despite that difficulty, I only wish I could put my emotions on hold like the bathroom checks until after we have the sono.

Update: I called the dr office this morning at their request to let them know how I'm doing. I let the nurse know that the bleeding seems to have stopped, and she was encouraged by this and told me to keep doing what I'm doing. Maybe there is hope, but I'm afraid to believe everything will be okay...

-- Post From My iPhone