Saturday, January 1, 2011

O.M.G...

Thursday evening, I was so proud of myself for making the P90X commitment and making it (sore but at least walking - barely) through day two. And then I got a positive result on a pregnancy test that same evening. Now I'll have to wait to pick it up again - which is rather irritating.

I had been suspecting something was up for the previous couple days because I was so dang irritable (which is really only an understatement). After realizing I was a day "late" (which always has a day or two wiggle room) I finally broke down and purchased a test and sure enough it was positive. It has been almost a year since I was pregnant last - a rather odd thought.

What does that mean now? Not sure at this point. I only know that there is no known outcome from all this. Based on my past experiences, I know what is likely to happen. I'm only thinking so far ahead to the phone call I need to make to the dr on Monday. Whatever the outcome, I've already decided that I'm getting fixed after all this. I'm not interested in going through this self-inflicted torture again. I'm not even letting myself hope for a baby at the end of all this yet, but I was growing rather fond of my newfound freedom again after 6 yrs. Either way though, I know we'll manage with flying colors.

I realized last night on New Year's Eve (while I was functioning as a rather convenient designated driver by the way) that this baby was spontaneously conceived in love under the light of the lunar eclipse that happened a few weeks ago on the winter solstice. The pagans believe that the full moon symbolizes fertility, and while I don't believe in all that stuff that fact is one beautiful facet to all this that absolutely warms my heart.


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