I spoke with the RE this morning, and apparently I tested positive for hyperactive Natural Killer Cells. Based on the research I did online there is some controversy surrounding this diagnosis, but based on his school of thought he feels this is causing the early miscarriages.
The theory is that these hyperactive natural killer cells (or a type of white blood cells) are attacking the embryo. If the embryo is able to grow large enough, it can "defend" itself. So this does not explain the stillbirth or abruption. The doctor explained that there are no other tests we can do where we can find a cause for those. He assured me that I will be closely monitored during my pregnancy, but that doesn't give me much assurance considering the circumstances.
Successful pregnancies can be had with the hyperactive NKC because one can become more sensitive with repeat "exposures" hence the reason why we would be having a problem with miscarriages now when I've never had a problem before.
If we decide to continue to try naturally with no treatment, we have about a 4% chance of having a successful pregnancy. However, if we decide to do IVF with intravenous immunoglobulin (IVIG) therapy to treat the NKC, we have about a 60% chance of having a successful pregnancy. We can't do the IVIG therapy without IVF because they are supposed to give the first infusion two weeks before you're pregnant. If you don't do IVF, the timing is unpredictable.
Even though this is just one diagnosis, I feel this is a lot to take in. We've found a cause for the the early miscarriages, but it has essentially eliminated our option for trying naturally. I wanted to have the option to try naturally before or after our IVF attempt in case it didn't work.
It also hasn't given us an explanation for Sierra or Garrett. I'm apprehensive about paying for IVF with the thought in mind that we could loose the pregnancy later on. However, I'd rather have the bill and have tried and failed than not have tried at all. At least then we're not stuck with "what if's".
With all this in mind, I've decided to change my perspective on things - if only to manage my stress level surrounding all this. I've decided to move forward with the assumption that we may never have anymore children. If the expectation is set, then I can't be let down. I read on the clinic's website that the sensitivity I've developed is more the exception than the rule - usually women who have this are not able to have any children because they start off with this sensitivity. We beat the odds once, and maybe we already had our little "rainbow" baby that some couples try for years and never succeed at.
After I came to this decision, I felt instantly lighter like some weight had been lifted from my metaphorical shoulders. I know this is probably just a coping mechanism, but I know this is the right way to deal with it for me. I've allowed myself to move on and not worry and stress about it anymore.
I would like to continue to try as long as we can afford it and have the health to do so, but I'm going in with the assumption that it may not work and we may never have any more children. And if it succeeds, then we'll be pleasantly surprised. We may only end up being stuck with the bill, but at least we can say we tried, and most importantly we can be thankful for our one living healthy child.
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It's such a heartbreak for you and your husband and family when the pregnancy isn't successful
ReplyDeleteand it's such a tragedy that the little life is lost - I think it's wonderful that you're come to the mindset that you do have a beautiful little girl and she may be your only child.
Not to say you couldn't try the IVF once if you
feel you are up to it and it's worth the gamble.
It's just a lot to put yourself through. Maybe your destiny is to be the best mom to Savannah.
That being said - have you considered a surrogate to carry the baby for you?
Debby MacDonald
We've talked about surrogacy, but I think the cost will be prohibitive. IVF is like purchasing a car while surrogacy is like purchasing a house. Also, apparently the infertility specialist doesn't think I'm so far gone as to need one. They think I have pretty good odds with treatment. I know my post sounds all doom and gloom, but my drs are optimistic b/c I have no other problems and the odds are in our favor. But unfortunately odds don't promise a good outcome, and this is my way of looking at the situation so I'm not stressing about all the things that could go wrong.
ReplyDeleteHave you looked into diet (low-cortisol & dibetes) to control NKC? There's not much information out there but there's new research finding links...it's like the body is living in a highly allergic state causing the NKC to go hyperactive. I don't know too much about it but I hate to see you hang your hat up if there's something that can be done to calm these NKC's.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment and concern.
ReplyDeleteI haven't heard of any diet that could help control NKC. I have found out recently (due to repeat allergic attacks) that I have a lot of food allergies in addition to being highly allergic to grass, weeds, and trees.
I have wondered if our losses could be related to my allergies since it seems that my body is already living in a highly allergic state.
What have you heard about diet, and are there any sites that you might be able to point me to?
My only concern is if I'll actually be able to eat anything if I were cut out all food allergens. A lot of the fruits tend to cross-react with pollens. I'm also allergic to wheat, corn, soybeans, and peanuts but don't seem to show any symptoms from these.
It's all rather frustrating because the allergist didn't seem to think this could have caused our losses and the reproductive specialist never mentioned this as a cause.
Despite all this, I'm not sure if having another child is what I want anymore. I've made peace with how our family turned out, and am finding myself rather relieved that I won't have anymore kids to looks after. But I guess time will tell if that will happen. Either way, I'm happy though. Thanks again for your comment!