So I was looking in the mirror this morning (enjoying the scrumptious snow day) noticing the slight baby bump that is just now becoming visible, and I had this moment that felt (for lack of a better word) like an epiphany. I realized that there is a living baby (with a heartbeat) growing in my belly, and I felt down right giddy!
That feeling took me by surprise, but I revealed in it for a few moments before coming back down to earth. I'm glad I allowed myself to feel happy about the pregnancy for a bit, but it does feel scary to allow too much of that! I fear getting too attached to the pregnancy just to have it all snatch away again.
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I'm glad you were able to acknowledge those emotions. I've been pondering those same thoughts concerning your situation. Is it possible to greet your baby each day, knowing there's already a relationship that exists between you two?...enjoying each day the two of you have together even though you don't know how long you have together. I think of you often and how you are managing that "balance of having and uncertainty". Being human has many vulnerabilities and what makes that even harder to handle at times is that we cannot always control life's circumstances. Remember you are not alone. Eventhough noone else can walk in your shoes, you have many loved ones who would do anything to help you! -Mom
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